I. am. a. moron.
I’ve raised 4 year olds before. It’s been awhile, but I have. They’re not hard, and very entertaining as their little personalities really start to shine.
This morning, kind of in a hurry(not a terrible hurry, obviously, as I’m here now, lol), and my 4 year old decided that before he ate breakfast, he should go brush his teeth.
I was distracted when he went to do so, so we couldn’t have our talk about how he should wait until after he ate, etc. He came back down, got ready to dig in to fruity pebbles. This was the conversation that followed:
Him:”I’m gonna eat breakfast now with my nice clean teeth!”
Me:”Now your teeth are going to be dirty.”
“Because you cleaned them to get the old food off, and now you’re going to eat food.”
“My teeth will be yucky again?”
“I don’t want to eat yucky food! Can I have some new food?”
“But, the food is not yucky, it will just make your teeth dirty. You should have brushed afterwards like normal.”
“Daddy. If my food will make my teeth dirty then my food is dirty. Dirty food is yucky. I want yummy food not yucky food!”
“No, your food is fine. It will just get on your teeth, and then it will be like you didn’t brush.”
“Then I need CLEAN food.”
“No, the food is clean, but clean food on teeth means dirty teeth.”
“Daddy, I don’t like it when you do that.”
“Stuff. You need to stop doing stuff.”
“Ok, but you need to eat your breakfast.”
“But I don’t want to eat and have dirty teeth.”
“But you’ll be hungry in a little while.”
“I’ll have clean teeth.”
“You can brush after you eat.”
“I already brushed my teeth.”
“If you do it again, they will be clean.”
“Daddy. I want my teeth to stay clean.”
“Do you want to be hungry?”
“Then you should eat your cereal.”
“Ok. Then I won’t brush my teeth because I will eat again later.”
Few minutes later…
“Fruity pebble dirt on my teeth is yummy dirt.”
“Maybe I don’t brush my teeth anymore and only eat yummy dirt.”
It went downhill from there.
Good news, he ate breakfast, he’ll brush again later. I have ibuprofen.