Monthly Archives: April 2015

Panic attacks suck.


There you are, pushing yourself to do something that stresses you out.  You’re managing to do it, but it’s frustrating, but you’re doing it.  Then it happens.

That tight feeling in your chest. Pain in your arm and neck. It’s hard to breathe. You may even feel dizzy. 

It feels like a heart attack.

You call 911, walk away from what you were doing, and head to the hospital.  The pain eases but continues. They run blood tests, take xrays, do an ekg.

Everything says you’re fine.

You feel like a jackass, because you stopped doing whatever it was that was challenging you.  You feel weak, not good enough to do it, even though you were.  People tell you that you scare them, that maybe you should back down.  You think that maybe they’re right.

It’s limiting.  It’s degrading.  You can’t explain it, and you’re just not sure whether or not you should even continue to try to do hard things.

I have panic attacks sometimes.  They suck.  They try to make me spiral into self-destruction.

I could take a pill that will limit my ability to do whatever it is while it reduces my frequency of panic attacks.  Thus is not much different from giving up on it.

If I push myself to do whatever it is, my body will try to override my brain and prevent me from doing it.

I wish there was something that I could do or take to overcome this, but I haven’t found it yet.  For now, I keep trying.  I only have to succeed once to be able to know I can do it.

For now, it’s hell.  I guess I have to just put my head down and keep going, though.

If I want to do the things that are hard that I want to do, I have to keep on trying.  Things I don’t want to do, well, I won’t do unless I must

Does anyone understand this that doesn’t experience it?  Can it be explained in a better way that people will understand?  If you have thoughts on this, please tell me.  If you experience this, how do you manage?

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A letter to Wall Street Journal

There seems to be a misconception among your readers about people who work menial jobs(like McDonald’s ).  They dismiss them with the comment ‘if you’re working McDonald’s then you’re not looking for a career’.

I realize that the readers of your magazine are generally quite wealthy and disconnected from such things, but it might be a good thing for your magazine to examine some of the people who work these sorts of jobs and portray them as fellow human beings who are doing their best to survive.  Those of us who work in these jobs are generally paid very low wages(minimum wage is common, even among those who have worked there for years).

This same statement isn’t made of school or office janitorial staff, housecleaners, landscapers, or any number of other jobs that do require some training but not formal education.   This concept is almost dehumanizing, as theses people are seen as throwaways, lazy, or hopeless.

Let’s face it, though.  These jobs are necessary for our society to function.  Until robotics are financially viable and people are comfortable with them, these ‘lower class’ jobs allow your wealthy readers to enjoy the conveniences they do now.  It would be nice to be able to afford housing, electricity, food, and medical care on the money one makes for working the typical 28 hours a week(thank you Affordable Care Act).

Please help those of us in the ‘lower classes’ to seem more human and valuable to those who have the money and power.


I will be rewriting this as a better post, but I welcome thoughts now.  What do you think? 

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