Monthly Archives: July 2016

The Afterlife


​Fuck.

I’ve been sitting here, waiting, for…  I don’t even know how to define it.  It feels like 3 hours, so let’s say that.  I just wish they’d pick something.

I mean, the first 5 minutes or so we’re great.  The whole welcome wagon was there when I woke up.  Various minor sub deities, some pretty weird ones I’d never heard of, including some guy talking about embracing despair, they were all there.  I mean, it was like being surrounded by aliens or something, you know?

But then, they’re appearing, one at a time, in my mind.  It’s the weirdest feeling, having a being rummage about within you seeking value, when this being is so much greater than you.  Moment to moment I had this alternating experience between destruction, creation, wrath, resolve.  It was madness and genius and every potential that I have been or could be, separated as distinct experiences over the course of each moment.

Then, they were gone.  Out of my head and now in an arena, champions chosen by each.  Things blacker than black battled, rage-filled with beings of purest light.  It was as if reality warped upon itself.

And then, they stopped.  Standing, bloodied and beaten, but staring at me.  Are they waiting?

**CHOOSE**

What the fuck?  Look, I just got here, nobody has told me shit.  Am I being chosen by someone?  Am I choosing?

**CHOOSE**

Dude.  I get the silent treatment for hours, and you guys fight and now I’m supposed to choose?  Choose what?  Is this Heaven?  Hell?  A dream?

**YOU HAVE FAILED TO CHOOSE AND IT HAS BEEN CHOSEN**

Oh, good.  WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOU-

Ngh.  Awake.  Darkness.  Wet?  Definitely…  am I breathing?  What the Fuck is going on?  OH MY GOD I’M NOT BREATHING!

Wait.  I’m not breathing.  It’s okay.  Whew.  Where am I now?  I kind of remember…  a dream?  Of what?

There’s pressure.  Fuck.  FUCK!  MY HEAD! I’M BEING SQUEEZED OHSHIT OHMYGODLIGHTSOMUCHLIGHTITHURTS

Oh fuck!  A doctor!  Maybe I can explain to him.

“~~Doctor~~ WAHHHH!”

Oh shit.  Ah fuck.  Not again.

Wait, this woman, she’s on the bed.  That’s my mom.  Ok.  She looks like hell.  Wait.  Where’s… oh there he is.  Douchebag by the door.  Ok.  Fuck.

Not again.  Dammit.  One of these times I gotta pick something.

End

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