Category Archives: Things I like

The ultimate ‘What would you do and why?’ question.


Subjective experiences interest me. 

A research firm calls.  They want you to volunteer to be a research subject for mind altering experiments.  They offer ten million dollars in compensation.

If you say yes now, keep reading.  If not, drop a comment for me as to why, please.

The study will last the rest of life.  You will live in a resort like hospital, and be free to leave at anytime.  If things go badly, then your health will be taken care of, according to the wishes you lay out now.

If no now, comment below.  If yes, read on.

This is a complete roll of the dice as to how it will affect you.  You could have nothing in you change, really.  You could become smarter, you could develop a mental illness.  Death, immortality, everything is on the table.

No, comments.  Yes, keep going.

The first portion of the testing will be a treatment that will alter the way you react to things.  You will find that you are content all the time, even deliriously happy when appropriate.  Things just won’t bother you, and you’ll always be happy.

No, comments.  Yes, keep going.

The next portion of the testing will be taking some various chemicals at increasing dosages, while your health is carefully monitored.  You will be expected to record your state of mind and thoughts on an hourly basis.

No, comments.  Yes, keep going.

The next part of the testing will involve chemical and gene therapy on your brain, directly, to overcome the blood-brain barrier.  You will be anesthetized and, due to earlier testing, happy.

No, comments.  Yes, keep going.

The final stage of the testing, they surgically implant devices into your brain that allow you to directly interface with it.  You can have experiences akin to the Matrix, instantly learning things, experiencing anything you want while jacked in.

The devices can’t be removed, but you will have the choice to leave the Matrix at any time, and you are not required to ever use it again.

No, comments.  Yes, keep going.

Your experiences and thoughts will be constantly recorded and uploaded to a research computer.  It will include data that will enable them to experience your every moment, as you, believing that they are you while experiencing it.

This effect will happen while you are in the Matrix, and and outside of it.  You can ask that they delete it all on delivery.

Comments, please.  My opinion on this will be in the comments as well.  There are no wrong answers, and if you don’t want your responses published, just note it in your comment.

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Filed under Creative ideas, Mental Health, People with interesting ideas, Philosophical Q&A, Social ideas, Things I like

Suicide


Hopeless-4fd5b14b0d0f2

So. You’re reading this because you googled suicide or something similar. Maybe you’re thinking about it. Maybe you know someone thinking about it. Maybe you’re just trying to understand why people do it.

First of all, since this is a touchy subject in the extreme, let me introduce myself. My name is Arthur. I am diagnosed Bipolar 1 with psychotic features. To make that understandable, I have physical and emotional experiences that don’t necessarily relate to current events in my life, and I always see and hear things that aren’t there. It makes life… interesting, to say the least.

I have attempted suicide multiple times, and I still think about it. Every day. The question that doctors and such like to ask: “Do you have a plan?” is almost meaningless. Potential means for suicide surround us constantly, so the plan is always available. I haven’t successfully done it yet(obviously… 😛 ), and while I make no guarantees for ‘never’, I haven’t actively attempted in quite a long time.

I still remember the sensation of every attempt, from the sawing sensation as the blade bit through my flesh, to the taste of gunmetal and blood as I scratched the roof of my mouth with it, to the fear I hadn’t taken enough pills and the ensuing chocolatey yet dirty taste of the quart and a half of charcoal I had to drink afterwards.(You poop it all out, by the way.  It’s bad.)

Sorry about that.

Sorry about that.

But why? That’s the question I want to answer. Why do I, and maybe other people, think about, attempt, and sometimes succeed at, suicide?

In some cases, I was just so tired. Every breath was an effort, all food tasted the same, and all I could think was that it just never gets better. No matter what happens, the joy is always short lived and the grinding way that life goes always brings you down.

In others, my brain just wouldn’t shut up. Nothing made sense and I couldn’t grab one of the bits of thought that was racing around in my head and tie it to another one in a way that made any kind of sense. Tons of energy and no motivation to do anything with it.

But that’s me. What about other people? (Maybe you?)

There are a million situational reasons. Maybe the person doesn’t feel loved. Maybe they suffer from an uncurable illness. Maybe they feel guilty. Maybe they’re just tired of fighting, grinding their way through life. In the end, though, it all boils down to one thing.

A lack of hope.

The thought process goes something like this: This sucks. Tomorrow, this will suck, therefore tomorrow will suck. The day after that will suck. The next week, the next month, and I just don’t think it’s worth experiencing the amount of suck that is going to occur in order to experience that potential joy that I’m told exists but that is so far removed from me that it may as well be a fairy tale.

As far as hope goes, when it’s there you never notice it. It just is. It’s part of the way you think and the way you are. When it’s gone, you don’t generally know that that’s what’s missing. You only know that everything is intolerable and you are simply done with it. That’s when the thought first shows up, for many.
That first thought is terrifying for some, and they run directly to get help. For many, it isn’t terrifying. It’s a comfort, even beautiful. It’s the most soothing siren song in the world, and if you’ll only do this one tiny little, simple thing, all the pain goes away.

It doesn’t tend to mention that it’s all a lie.

Suicide is not an easy thing. Your body, your mind, fights you even as it encourages you to do it. Pulling a blade across your skin is easy, pushing down hard enough to hit an artery is beyond hard. Overdosing and ‘just going to sleep’ is beyond difficult as well, as the dosages required to kill you are far greater than those that will just destroy your body, shortening your life span but making you live under constant watch and care as your destroyed organs fail. Putting a gun in your mouth and pulling the trigger requires you to mentally overcome every survival urge your body has, and it is in that moment that your mind tends to flounder about, reaching for any hope that it can call up to keep you from squeezing the trigger.

The main thing that I have lacked, as far as successfully committing suicide goes, is enough anger to accept that I will hurt people simply by no longer being there. Anger is as irrational and powerful as lust, I think. That emotion is what makes a person do whatever it takes to die, and is probably at the heart of these public suicides that take the lives of others in the process.

So. Hopeless anger is what causes suicide by cop, suicide by shooting people, suicide in public or with a manifesto attached. Even that quiet end where someone manages to overdose and die in their sleep, they were tired, hopeless and angry enough to take enough pills or whatever to make sure they wouldn’t wake up.

How do you fight it?

I have some survival questions and rules that have kept me from attempting for a long time. Here they are:

1: Is my pain of greater value than the potential pain this will cause others?

Generally, no.  Your death will probably cause pain to at least one other person, even if that person is just trying to bury you.  More than likely, people will grieve, probably for years, and be sad, depressed, and angry, much like you’re feeling now.

This falls apart when delusion takes over, though. If you aren’t angry, then this should be a big deal, and your empathy should kick in to some degree. In my case, I tend to fall into this place where I believe that a lack of having to deal with me would be a good thing to those that this choice would otherwise cause. That’s when I move onto the next rule…

2: Wait 24 hours, and sleep for no more than 8 of them, and no less than 6 of them.

Sleep does some amazing things, including allowing your brain to take a break. If you can’t sleep at all during those 24 hours, go to a hospital and tell them the situation. Yes, they will admit you. Yes, it will suck. Take a bag, something to read, and a notebook and pen so that you can write down all of the crap in your head.

I limit it to 8, because past that amount, I tend to feel worse. I will want to make sleep my escape, and it will turn into a situation where that’s all I do. This will hurt others just as bad, and if I don’t commit suicide, I’ll have to apologize to those it hurts, which sucks, which feeds into the thought process I mentioned above with some self-hatred and anger thrown in.

3: Do that thing you like, that you have access to, one last time.

Let’s say you like milkshakes. Go to the store, and buy one. Think about the fact this may be the last one you ever have. Love the sound of crashing waves? Go to a beach. Let yourself experience that, and think about the fact that this may very well be the very last time you do it.

You may find that you’d like to be able to do it again, enough to go to the hospital or police or whomever and tell them about it.

4: Once it’s done, it’s done. Did you do everything else possible?

Suicide, if successful, is the very last thing you will ever do. That’s it. No takebacks. Heaven, hell, reincarnation, none of that is guaranteed beyond your own personal belief. As far as you know, you are hitting the off switch on life with a hammer. There’s no turning it back on. Did you try quitting that job, leaving that relationship, moving away and starting over from scratch? People do those things, and are successful. Did you try them? Maybe you should.

I’m not going to lie to you. Life is hard. We fuck up. Other people hurt us. We hurt ourselves. We dream of comfort and stability, we imagine joy, but none of those things are guaranteed. We try to get help and the system we have has long waiting periods for appointments, and no real concept of fixing anything, only mitigating symptoms and making us manageable by society. (Seriously, world, what are you people doing? You say you care, but all you do is say it and encourage people to take the pills when we have all of this marvelous technology and money to throw at all of these other things… but I digress.)

Even then, suicide is probably not the best answer.

I know, if you’re here because you’re thinking about doing it, you’re still thinking about it. So, make a plan. Plan your death, the whole shebang, including your obituary and funeral arrangements.  Think about who will react to it, how they’ll react, and what you want them to take away from it.

At the same time, make another plan. This one is to leave the situation and just go somewhere else. Plan on being broke, homeless, jobless, and without a friend in the world when you go. It’s the same thing as suicide, but you’re giving yourself one more chance to find something tolerable. Plan it all the way out, to include what paperwork you need to take, how much you can reasonably carry, and where you’ll go.

Now. I want you to consider this: the end goal is to make the old situation go away, right? Both plans do this. Both plans hurt people emotionally, but you’ll be either dead or away from those it hurts, so you don’t have to deal with that unless you want to alleviate the pain.  One way means that perhaps you’ll find joy in a starlit night or be able to dance in the snow.  Maybe try that one?

Final Thoughts

I’ve been in there, in that space. I know. I care. I’m not the only one, but none of us are psychic. You have to talk to us, and not just the people that blow it off or don’t listen or freak out. Everyone’s not like that. Use your words. The smallest words you have are enough. If you do decide to go, though, and there’s no changing your mind, know that you will be missed. You might have been that person who I’d run into someday and we’d be become best of friends. You might be the one who saves someone else from something horrible. You might be just a comfort to the people around you, just knowing you’re there, you’ve been through hell, and you’re still here, and that’s enough to make them keep going. If you still go, know that I hope that you find it’s better on the other side.

If you comment something personal, it will remain private unless you say in the comment that it’s okay to share.
Feel free to share this out there into the world, too. Maybe it’ll help somebody.

1 (800) 273-8255 Suicide prevention hotline

http://hopeline.com/ (This one is all a chat)

Dandelions are called names, killed, and generally despised. They keep trying anyway, with everything they have. That's hope, to me, and I love them for it.

Dandelions are called names, killed, and generally despised. They keep trying anyway, with everything they have. That’s hope, to me, and I love them for it.

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Filed under Mental Health, Social ideas, Things I like, Thoughts

France.


Courtesy joobili.com

Courtesy joobili.com

I took French in high school.  I can speak a tiny bit, but what has always really had me in awe of France has been their history.

The names and places that have sprung from those lands, Napoleon Bonaparte, The Sun King, Voltaire, Sartre, Rousseau, and so many more, give rise to imaginings of heroism, great thinkers and astounding ideas.

courtesy wikimedia

courtesy wikimedia

The architecture is amazing as well.  Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame, Champs Elysees, even the catacombs of Paris, the fortresses of the Maginot Line.  It’s all just astounding.

courtesy cdn.citylab.com

courtesy cdn.citylab.com

The culture is awesome, too.  I only know what I know from movies and news reports, but their passionate nature gives rise to rebellion, conquest, hedonism, and an almost amusing arrogance.

What a country.  What a people.

They must be destroyed.

Courtesy danieldupre at deviantart

Courtesy danieldupre at deviantart

For all the great things that these people have brought to the world, they have done one unfathomable thing, above all others that, to me, suggests they simply want to watch the world burn and will do whatever it takes to bring this about.

They take chocolate bars, put them on french bread, and call it a sandwich.

Courtesy photos-a-la-con.fr

Courtesy photos-a-la-con.fr

This sort of thing simply cannot be allowed.  It brings into question everything, the joy of chocolate, the savoriness of bread, existence and reality themselves.  It’s the ultimate insult to the taste buds that simply cannot be allowed.

I’m sorry, France.  You have to go.  I may visit you one day, but your madness must end before it destroys us all.

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Filed under Creative ideas, For followers, Literature, Social ideas, Things I like, Thoughts, Visual Art

On kindness.


What?  I like them.

Yay dandelion!

I propose an idea.

The rules of society, the unspoken rules, the ones you figure out by slow, uncomfortable experience? Let’s do away with them.  Everyone is miserable in some way.  If not everyone, a ridiculous vast majority.  Most of those people are miserable because of those unwritten rules.

Lies are okay.

Me first.

He who dies with the most toys wins.

They are bad because they look/think/believe/want/need differently from us.

The misfortunes of others give us joy.

 

So, in their place, I say we adopt the following, as a species.

1: Be kind.

Kindness would not harm another being through deliberate action or inaction.

Kindness is aware that other human beings exist and they are all affected by my decisions.

Kindness is consistent and constant.

Kindness is not the easy thing.  It is the worthy thing.  It is the right thing.  Not just for me, but for society as a whole.  We are human beings.  We have risen above so much, but somewhere kindness was lost behind.

Kindness does not judge without reasoning.

Kindness does compromise.

Kindness asks for what it needs.

Kindness doesn’t ask unless it’s a need.

Kindness is the small thing, the common thing.  The single stirring of a butterfly wing, that eventually creates a hurricane.

Kindness is powerful.  It doesn’t flinch.  It doesn’t back down.

Kindness takes care of itself, that it might better care for others.

Kindness is subjective, but always tries to imagine what it’s like in another’s shoes.

Kindness is the rock to which civilization clings.  Trust is a kindness.  Honor, a kindness.  Truth, respect, justice, valor, all derive from kindness.

 

We laud ourselves for being tool using creatures.  We call ourselves sentient.  Without kindness as a constant part of who we are as a species, are we any better than animals, really?  Given a behavior comparison, how does humanity rank against the Great White Shark?  (No, really.  Have there been any studies?)

 

As for my proposition and the rules, there need be no more.  From kindness, all else grows.

I like elephants, too.

Yay Elephant!

Now for an injection of “sanity” from the devil’s advocate.

If humans are wrong about being better than animals, then kindness becomes a privilege.  If humans are incapable of overcoming their desires to be selfish and destructive, then perhaps reality is what it shall be.  Poverty must exist because not all can have all.  Crime, hatred, war, all must exist in a world without kindness, because greed is their root. Itself, unkind.

Kindness itself can’t spread aggressively, either.  Kindness can only be an example, spread passively.  We have to choose to do it, and change is uncomfortable at best.

So, the proposition.  Let’s try it.  Choose to be kind.  Let’s see what the world looks like with that as our driving force for a century or two.  Join me?

 

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Storm warning…


storm-clouds-over-empty-road-16_9-nf4he4

The Gathering Storm

It’s funny. I grew up in the country, so I learned a lot about the ways mother nature will warn you that there’s any kind of bad weather coming. Little things that you only notice if you take the time to be still, quiet, and look at the world around you. I’ve learned to trust those little signs of a coming storm. I might not get as much notice as I would from computer models and weather forecasters, but generally, if I pay attention and look at those little signs, I know whether I’ll need an umbrella or sunglasses on any given day.

Lately, though, I’ve seen something different. Something that’s maybe a part of nature, yet a part of mankind. Something that seems to definitely exist in the United States right now, as well as other parts of the world. There’s a feeling, a sensation, a low rumble that seems to be something people don’t talk about much, but they all quietly acknowledge it’s there.

There’s a storm coming.

It wasn’t all that long ago when I noticed the first gusts of the storm in the tree tops. People arguing about political things, right versus left, big government versus small, that sort of thing. The folks that were on television, the folks that told most people what and how to think about things, they seemed to be arguing, upset about how things were, how things should change, how bad stuff was. People in real life tended to parrot what they heard from them, but that was about as far as things went.

Now, the wind has changed a bit. The gusts that were makin’ the tops of the trees sway back and forth are now down here, at ground level. Folks are noticing that maybe what they were told by those folks wasn’t all true. There’s nothing stable to lean against or hold onto in the wind. People are gettin’ blown around a bit, and they know things aren’t quite right anymore. The trust is gone, and folks are nervous.

There’s a storm coming.

When a thunderstorm comes in, one of the things I notice is the way the air smells. It smells like wet dirt and grass and leaves all mixed up. It’s a smell that’s easy to miss, and gets blown away by the wind. It’s like the way folks in the United States are most entertained by other people’s trouble, and imaginations of apocalypse. Think of all the big movies and such that have been around recently, and you’ll find that a good portion of them, a good portion of the popular ones, have been about the end of the world or dystopian societies. It’s not something you think too much about, most of the time, unless you’re keeping your ear to the ground.

It’s like people have not just lost hope, but they’re secretly thinking about what to do when the world they know has passed on. It’s as if the clouds are dark and heavy with big ol’ raindrops, waitin’ to be driven down by the winds, and the sun is only shining through in a few distant spots, the breaks in the clouds that are slowly coming together as the storm comes along.

There’s a storm coming.

Before a storm rolls in, I’ll see the cows lay down together, the birds will go quiet. I’ll notice that there are more turtles up on higher ground. Odd little behaviors they really only do when some kind of weather is on the wind. People are doing similar things, looking around a little more, going amongst those that are close to them to talk low about things that are going on, but keepin’ that smile on when they’re out with other folks. People are being careful what they say around other people, careful what they post online, trying not to be noticed as the storm rolls in, hoping it will blow over them, leave them unscathed.

There’s a storm coming.

I notice that before a storm, some folks feel aches and pains in old wounds, like their body is telling them to get under cover before it happens again. It’s funny how a lot of wounds that should be healed by now are being dragged up and out into the open, causing pain and hate among people that otherwise wouldn’t worry about it so much.

It’s like the air before a thunderstorm. That air is electric, like there’s an unseen bit of electricity that makes you a feel kind of small and even a bit jumpy. I like that feeling in nature, it’s one of my favorite times when a storm rolls in and the air gets quiet, and even the bugs seem like they’re looking for cover. This feeling is different, though, and it seems like people are noticing it. There’s things going on up north in Connecticut right now that would have been unheard of in times past. There’s folks acting against other folks because of things that really have nothing to do with them, things that make people hate each other. There’s rumblings in the distance, like lightning that flashes in the sky before the first hint of rain, revolutions and such in places like the Ukraine and Venezuela, military posturing in China, warnings and arguing between the US and Russia.

There’s a storm coming.

One of the things that I have always noticed is the way people talk about an oncoming storm. Plain, simple, country talk about how bad it might or might not be, and what to do about it before it comes. More and more, I keep coming across people from all different walks of life that, while they might disagree about just about everything else, agre on a few things. They agree that congress is just about useless. They agree that not only do they have issues with the president, but that the choices available in the past haven’t been worth the spit to talk about. They agree that something is about to happen, and it’s time to get ready for whatever it may be.

People are scared of whatever is coming. Bankers are offing themselves for no apparent reason. There’s talk about money being weird and how many ways things can suddenly go wrong. People are thinking about what to do when the storm comes, whether they have shelter for the storm, and who they might go to should the storm overwhelm them.

There’s a storm coming.

It’s all the little things put together. I don’t know if we’re going to get a misty soak followed by rainbows and birds singin’ on the wind. I don’t know if it will be one of those storms that blows a bit, makes some noise, and moves on, leaving the day more hot and humid than when it began. It could be a short downpour, what we call around here a “gully washer”, one that almost seems to clean things up a bit, or a tornado that will just plow everything down in it’s path.

I hope it’s a light mist, personally, or maybe a short gully washer that won’t last too long, and afterwards things will just seem better for awhile. It’s hard to say, though. I’m not sure whther it’s time to just get out the umbrella and keep it handy, or whether to check around to see where some good root cellars are to make it through.

I hope it’s just a shower, and we’ll all get to go play in the puddles afterwards. Maybe it will be, and everything will be fine. It may be that we all have to come together afterwards and try to clean up the mess left behind, though.

All I know is what I see and what I feel, and what I know is that it feels like there’s a storm coming. I hope we can all go out and play in the puddles when it’s over, but we should all be ready to go and help clean up the mess if it’s somethin’ worse.

www.cracked.com/article_20819_5-disturbing-reasons-not-to-trust-news-from-reporter.html

www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/post-partisan/wp/2013/12/17/trust-in-congress-gallups-to-single-digits/

www.cbsnews.com/news/most-americans-disappointed-in-obamas-presidency-poll-says/

www.coolage.in/2014/02/27/the-ukraine-crisis/

www.usatoday.com/story/news/2014/02/23/maduro-seeks-venezuela-peace-conference/5760543/

www.reuters.com/article/2014/02/25/us-afghanistan-usa-obama-idUSBREA101B420140225

rt.com/usa/us-military-cuts-budget-423

www.gmanetwork.com/news/story/350486/news/world/china-says-decision-on-new-air-defense-zone-depends-on-threat

www.theguardian.com/world/2014/feb/27/us-warns-russia-military-drills-ukraine-border

www.cnbc.com/id/101450365

 

If you liked the way this was written, check out my e-book, “Fairy Ring”.  Only 2.99 and found here: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00I7YXGLG

 

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Filed under For followers, People with interesting ideas, Social ideas, Things I like, Thoughts, Visual Art

Internal Computing of Morality(for me)-or why I hate my brain sometimes…


mammalian-brain-computer-inside

(image credit: http://www.voodish.co.uk/articles/human-brain-simulated-on-super-computer/)

Morality. Noun. Principles concerning the distinction between right and wrong or good and bad behavior.

I always wonder how people develop their morality, how they make “moral” choices, and what they mean when they describe a person as a “moral” person. It’s honestly something of a curiosity to me.

Let’s take a look at the definition, first. “the distinction between right and wrong or good and bad”

Think about that for a minute. Does right equal good? Does wrong equal bad? Who is it that decides these things, exactly?

For some, the answer is simple. They point to a deity of one sort or another, look at their sacred texts, and come back with an answer to what is right or wrong based on that. The problem with this, is that there are several to choose from, and while societies can form that support these ideals, those societies tend to be at odds. In general, within these societies, there are also conflicts within them about the interpretation of the sacred text and what it is the society itself should be doing, causing splinters within the society.

For others, they go with instinct. The problem I have with instinct is that instinct seems lot flipping a coin or rolling dice to decide on the outcome of a given situation. There’s no real thought put into it, you just go forth and do, and hope for the best. Some of these people do well, some do not. Instinct alone is all about survival, and while you may survive and even thrive on it, it makes you a bit random. The only thing that is apparent to me that those who follow instinct first and foremost can be depended upon for is to look out for their own interests first in any given situation. Whether this is good or bad is a question that I’m not convinced even applies.

So, morality is still an enigma, as far as how other people come to their decisions and whatnot. This is how my mental computer works, as far as I can understand.

1:Input: Something is Happening.

2:Choice: Is the input signifying something that must be decided on now? If yes, continue, if no, return to input.

3:Choice: Is the input enjoyable? If yes, continue. If no, continue to step 7

4:Choice: Is the input good? If yes, continue. If no, continue to step 7

5:Choice: Is the input right, wrong, or neutral? If right, continue, if wrong, continue to step 7 if neutral return to step 2

6:Return to Input and continue

7:Cease activity and return to Input.

*****************************************************

Pretty basic, right? The problem here is defining the variables “enjoyable”, “good”, “right”, “wrong, “bad”, and “neutral”.

Looking a little bit deeper at myself, I find that I have quick lists in my head. Like bookmarks. Each variable has a tab, and each seems to have a list of experienced activities and sensations attached.

The problem is this, though. I can’t figure out what subroutine in my head places things in the tabs as they are. I know that some were learned, whether by parents, society, school, or religion. Those things are all also marked as things told, not experienced.

I have another tab, though, marked experienced. This is another list of things, some of which are in the not experienced tab. These two tabs seem to be outside of my decision making process, though, as I look at my internal “program” above, I see no place where the use of either tab fits.

:internal examination:

On further examination, I find that somewhere along the way I placed in my “good” and “enjoyable” tabs the concept of increasing the number of things under my “experienced” tab. Further, this seems to be reinforced by something that affects the way I receive input. It’s sort of like this:

1: Input: Something is Happening. If input is not currently in experienced tab, check told tab for variable reference, but force continue once. If input is in neither tab, force continue once.

The problem here is that it suggests there is more to the program than I have seen so far. It appears that it actually goes more like this:

1: Input: Something is Happening. If input is not currently in experienced tab, check told tab for variable reference, but force continue once. If input is in neither tab, force continue once.

2:Choice: Is the input signifying something that must be decided on now? If yes, continue, if no, return to input.

3:Choice: Is the input enjoyable? If yes, continue. If no, continue to step 7 If no reference, go to enjoyable subroutine.

4:Choice: Is the input good? If yes, continue. If no, continue to step 7 If no reference, go to good subroutine.

5:Choice: Is the input right, wrong, or neutral? If right, continue, if wrong, continue to step 7 if neutral return to step 2 If no reference, go to right/wrong subroutine.

6:Return to Input and continue

7:Cease activity and return to Input.

************************************************

So-I have subroutines to examine.

*************************************************

Enjoyable subroutine

1: Input: Something is happening.

2: Choice: Does the enjoyable tab have anything similar to this, but different enough to be considered a unique experience? If no, continue. If yes, mark enjoyable and return to decision making process at step 3.

3: Choice: Does this cause me some kind of pain? If no, continue. If yes, mark as “painful” and continue.

4: Choice: Does this cause anyone else any kind of pain? If yes, cease activity and reboot system. If no, continue.

5: Choice: Does this give me pleasure? If yes, mark “pleasurable” and continue. If no, force check to decision making process at step 4.

6: Choice: Does this give anyone else pleasure? If yes, mark pleasurable. If no, force check to decision making process at step 4.

7: For each pleasure, add one point. For each painful, subtract one point.

8: If points is greater than zero, mark experience “enjoyable” and return to decision making process.

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Good seems to be similar, but different. It includes a couple of extra steps.

1: Input: Something is happening.

2: Choice: Does the good tab have anything similar to this, but different enough to be considered a unique experience? If no, continue. If yes, mark good and continue.

3: Choice: Does this cause me some kind of pain? If no, continue. If yes, mark as “painful” and continue.

4: Choice: Does this cause anyone else any kind of pain? If yes, mark as painful and continue. If no, continue.

5: Choice: Does this give me pleasure? If yes, mark “pleasurable” and continue. If no, continue

6: Choice: Does this give anyone else pleasure? If yes, mark “pleasurable”. If no, continue.

7: For each pleasure, add one point. For each painful, subtract one point.

8: If points is greater than zero, mark experience “good”

9: If points is zero or less, but activity is marked “good”, then remove “good” marking and remove “good” marking from similar experiences.

10: Return to decision making process at step 5.

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One more subroutine… Right, wrong, neutral.

Right/Wrong subroutine:

1: Input: Something is Happening

2: Choice: If input is not marked experienced, check learned tab and continue.

3: Choice: If input is marked learned and marked right within tab, mark right and continue, if not, continue.

4: Choice: If input is marked enjoyable, mark right and continue, if not mark wrong and continue.

5: Choice: If input is marked good, mark right and continue, if not mark wrong and continue.

6: For each right mark, score one point.

7: For each wrong mark, subtract one point.

8: If points is greater than 0, mark right and continue if not, cease activity and mark wrong.

9: Choice: Does this cause anyone harm? If yes, mark wrong and return to decision making process at step 3 for reevaluation.

10: Return to decision making process at step 6.

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Whew! That’s pretty involved.

Well, for me, the good news is that I can now examine these processes, and if I can examine them, I can tweak them. The bad news-this is just how I sort things out internally as to morality and decision making. It tells me nothing of what to expect from others, unless everyone works off of something similar.

So… how about you tell me? How similar is your own process? If it’s completely different, how is it different? Can you edit this process in ways that will make it more efficient, or line up more to the way society works?

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Something Different: A poem by me


Yeah, I write poetry sometimes.  I don’t think it’s nearly as good as much of what I see out there, but…

Anyway-here’s one I wrote a little while ago.  Hope you like it.  🙂

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Right now

Life is funny
Here today gone tomorrow
Yesterday is a memory and tomorrow is a dream
All we have is right now.

Right now, we can have some joy.
Right now, we can choose to weep.
Right now, I can think of you.
Right now, I could get some sleep.

Every moment of every day
Wherever we go and whatever we do
We have right now.

Right now I’ll be with you
Right now you’ll be with me
Right now is all we have
So right now, I hope you see

Nothing in life is guaranteed
There’s no way to reset and try again.
So the moments we have
right now
Those are the moments to be in

Right now, let’s be happy
Right now, let’s have some fun
Right now, let’s choose to laugh
Right now, before we’re done

Life is funny
You never know what will happen next
one thing is guaranteed
unless we live right here, right now
We’ll just look back and grieve

Right now, think of the sunrise
Right now, smile your secret smile
Right now, let’s wish for each other
Let’s let right now be for a while

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